Candidate-spotting at Camborne-Redruth (oh, and Hayle)

In the constituency of Camborne, Redruth and Hayle things may look depressingly normal on the surface but the impression from social media is of a furious maelstrom of political activity. Even George Eustice has actually been spotted (twice!) scurrying around the back streets of Redruth with a little band of Conservative helpers. Strangely, despite this, there’s been no reports of him being seen knocking on any doors in this same area.

Anyway, he assures us he’s getting ‘a good reception’ and a ‘positive reaction’ from voters hysterically overjoyed at the latest news that they’ll be able to park their car for free at Treliske (small print – ‘for those who need it’) the next time they turn up for their cancelled operation. George says ‘a vote for the Lib Dems makes it more likely we’ll end up with Jeremy Corbyn in No.10’. Which satanic nightmare is a bit curious as in Camborne-Redruth a Lib Dem vote will help guarantee the exact opposite.

Another small band of enthusiasts driven to manic self-flagellating bliss by brexit might be spotted trailing through the sodden streets of the constituency. It’s the frighteningly optimistic Flossie MacDonald of the Lib Dems. She’s telling local voters that ‘your confidence in me is driving me to build a better future’. Who are these voters? Please, stop encouraging her. Flossie’s exhausting breeziness is inflamed by mysteriously anonymous and cryptic comments such as ‘the word on the streets is that even strong Labour supporters are voting for Florence instead’. The weak ones are presumably voting for George.

old politics

Flossie has the answer for those confused by the Lib Dems, a not inconsiderable number one has to assume. ‘Here is something to help‘, as she unveils the tablet from the mountain, aka Lib Dem manifesto. Unfortunately, Flossie hasn’t had time to digest it fully herself. Rightly castigating Labour for abandoning plans for zero carbon emissions by 2030, she doesn’t mention the inconvenient fact that Lib Dem policy is zero by 2045.

new politics

Meanwhile, last Saturday Labour’s Paul Farmer was hitting the streets in Redruth with a couple of hundred others on a March for the Arts. In Redruth? A bit like marching in Devon for jam on scones first, surely? Anyway, Paul thinks the ‘atmosphere is positive and the energy is building’ and ‘there’s a nameless, frameless anger towards the Tory regime’. Let’s hope they can identify a frame before December 12^th then. Paul wants ‘bespoke solutions’ for Cornwall which is ‘historically its own country’.

That’s one thing the Greens’ Karen La Borde agrees on, although the Greens go further than Labour, by committing to ‘give Cornwall it’s [sic] own Assembly’. Karen’s not quite sure what else to offer the people of the constituency however. She’s appealing to fellow Greens to help her answer a question she was asked – ‘what can the Green Party do for people in this constituency? Answer in two sentences please’ she says.

Here’s one sentence. Tell the dozy buggers to wake up, smell the coffee and stop living in the past.

Talking of which, in this constituency at least, there are signs that the Liberal Party is alive and well. Well, alive anyway. Paul Holmes (75) has been present on the hustings and memorably predicts ‘I think we’ll do quite well’. Famous last words, Paul, famous last words.

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Polarisation at Pool: good versus evil in Camborne-Redruth

No need to rely on the fatuous falsehoods being flung out by Boris Johnson. In Camborne-Redruth Conservative George Eustice is beginning to adopt an altogether more Old Testament approach to campaigning. He’s now begun viewing this election through Manichean spectacles of good versus evil, good being Boris and brexit and evil being Momentum, Corbyn and his ‘marxist’ crew.

It seems George has become quite an expert on marxism. He can spot a mode of production from miles away while means of production, the extraction of surplus value and class consciousness are meat and drink to him. One trusts his knowledge of marxism extends further than his knowledge of fishing and the potential impact of brexit on it. But then, when he was grilled on that one, he was only the fishing minister in a Tory Government, so what can we expect?

Another whopper, Boris!

It’s good to see that George has recovered from the slight hiccup caused by his encounter with an actual voter while out canvassing in West Tolgus. Since then he’s been getting a ‘very positive response’ from voters, some of whose grandparents may even have voted for the Radical MP Charles Conybeare in 1885. Come back Charles, where are you when you’re needed?

George is in unstated alliance with the Lib Dems’ Flossie MacDonald, with both manically pushing the Great Brexit Distraction for all it’s worth. Makes one quite nostalgic for the good old days of the coalition government.  Flossie persists in the thankless task of trying to persuade voters that a vote for her isn’t identical to gifting the seat to George. In return George is nice to all those ‘Lib Dem stalwarts’ who are all ‘polite and friendly in the best Cornish tradition’. Not like those evil Corbyn supporters schooled by Momentum to spread havoc and confusion in secret training camps on Carn Brea.

Of course, ‘best Cornish tradition’ here means knowing their place and regularly returning people like George to Parliament. Strangely, for someone who stresses his local connections going back thousands of generations to the time the first living Cornish thing crawled out of the slime and demanded a pasty, he seems blissfully unaware that in Cornwall ‘polite and friendly’ on the doorstep translates into ‘two-faced and duplicitous’ in the polling booth. We can only hope.

A typical subversive idea from ‘marxist’
Labour

Meanwhile, Paul Farmer’s campaign for Labour is being fuelled by ‘people-powered effort’. None of that fossil-fuel power for Paul who’s stressing his green credentials even as his leader backs off from the urgent action necessary to combat climate chaos under pressure from the GMB. Labour certainly exudes confidence but how far it spills out into the mean streets of Camborne and Redruth is quite another matter.

We also have Karen La Borde for the Greens, who’s asking us to vote with our hearts. And face up to the consequences for the future of our actions in the present. Good luck with that one, Karen. And then there’s Paul Holmes for the Liberals, who’s yet been spotted on the hustings.

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Parallel universe at Camborne-Redruth

This week the Brexit Party had to drop a candidate who claimed that she was from the star Sirius, believed in elves, fairies and unicorns and that aliens were working with governments across the world. This was too much even by the standards of the Brexit Party. But it’s the tip of the iceberg. A growing sense of complete unreality seems to pervade the early days of this election.

Even putting aside the most inept and chaotic start to an election campaign by the Tories since, … err last time, we can find examples everywhere we look.

Take Camborne-Redruth. Here belief has to be suspended entirely when endangering your mental health by consulting the Facebook pages of local candidates. Last weekend the Liberal Democrats’ Florence, or Flossy, MacDonald was out and about at Mount Hawke. She met ‘an incredible number of people voting Lib Dem’. On Monday it was the turn of Porthtowan, where she was ‘overwhelmed by the level of support’ and the ‘incredible response’, with ‘so many people voting Lib Dem to stop the Brexit chaos’. It was a ‘magical evening’.

Full marks for breathless enthusiasm but Flossy looks in danger of peaking too soon and running out of hyperbole even before the nominations are in. I would caution her to calm down a bit, employ fewer exclamation marks and consider whether anyone called Flossy has ever been elected to Parliament. The omens are not good.

The Lib Dems in Camborne-Redruth only need another 20,122 votes to topple Farmer George from his seat. You’ll be more likely to spot a unicorn flying over Carn Brea.

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